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Me as a tall, dark, and handsome middle-aged man.
The last three weeks have been spent doing splits/cultural exchanges with 4 painters and their band of hooligans. It was a great ride. While transitioning between homes, my artist friend Ali let me stay it his house. I would sleep in one bedroom, Ali would sleep in the other, and the other guys would sleep on the couches or on tiny mattresses thrown on the ground. Sometimes I would wake up to a houseful of other stranger artists strapped to their mini mattresses and tip toe my way across the crowded snoring floor. Arab hospitality of course provided royal treatment, but a moderate adaption to Levantine bohemian social habits provided a colorful brotherhood. By the way it was really funny.
I’ll use a description of Ibrahim as an archetype. Ibrahim sleeps all day. Literally. He was asleep at 8 in the morning when I left that morning and still asleep at 5 o’clock when I got back yesterday. I left at 9:30 pm for my new house. Ibrahim was still asleep. When he’s not sleeping, and manages to wake up in the mid-afternoon he hangs out in his long-John’s the whole day while drinking Arabized-Argentinian maté and smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day. He’s the nicest guy in the world. Having married an Italian woman 5 years ago, he someday aspires to live in Italy and continue studying Art. All great artists go to Italy. Ibrahim has long frizzled charcoal-black hair that he wears in a difficult-to-identify ponytail. He wears taped broken glasses, has a beard that he sometimes shaves every two weeks, and drinks anabolic protein shakes daily before he goes to workout at the local sports complex. He starts the night of usually playing cards with his friends or watching a flick with me on my computer. Midnight dinner is followed by creative and deep thinking, beautiful and professional drawing (some of the best I’ve seen in my life), a little bit of Italian studies, some thought provoking maté, and maybe another nap before finally fading off into a deep dream filled sleep at around 8 am.
These guys were great. They would do anything for me if I asked. They always cooked big meals, did my laundry, gave me my own private room, and loved laughing with me. One of my favorite highlights was playing introducing my family favorite, spoons. I had to explain the rules in Arabic. Whenever I was having difficulty with a concept they would try to guess. Their guesses and my lack of Arabic words provided an amazing version of spoons I will not forget. Instead of a spelling P-I-G, you get 4 donkey shots. Instead of a PASS the cards, it’s a short and lound BAHS, with these pass intervals being 5 seconds instead of 1 second looks. Always they would practice their English slang (usually learned from Hollywood). If it wasn’t the “F word” or “donkey” it was a dead arm or jab to the face. My favorite is when they think they are clever. Instead of saying “You are stupid/shi-” they often mix up their pronouns and loudly declare with a blaming index finger pointing to the other “I STUPID!” or “I DONKEY!” The game also ended with a little Syrian touch. With marker in hand, all of us were able to scribble as much as we wanted all over the newly crowned DONKEY’S face. I’ve had some great games of spoons in my day that was one of the best. If Mark Stein were to power rank them, definitely top five!
p.s. Please stay tuned for an accounting of my most recent trip to the fertile flood plain of the ancient Euphrates river!
Week 2
Have you ever been to the biggest restaurant in the world? I have. Yep that’s right, last night as a branch activity we had dinner at the Guinness Book of World Record’s biggest restaurant in the world. DamasGate can sit up to 6,015 people at one time. Dang! The coolest part about our branch activity is that it was on our Sabbath day, Friday. I still haven’t quite figured that part out. Oh the hardships of having the sacred day on Friday and not on Sunday. I really enjoy it.
The reason we went to this restaurant is because the church humanitarian aid program has a representative here for this week. There is a conference taking place on training neonatal resuscitation. It’s actually an amazing program and has already saved thousands of lives. There was a session here in Damascus and tomorrow they are heading up to Aleppo for more training. While the representative is here, our branch president wanted to give him a good time in Syria. This afternoon as an Elder’s quorum we are taking our guest to the hamam, or Turkish bath. You gotta love it baby.
Let me tell you about my Arabic. As you guys know, I like people. I like interacting with others. It’s where I get my energy. Communicating love and concern for other in deed and word is one of the most beautiful things experienced. That’s the reason I initially wanted to learn Arabic when I was first introduced to it 2 years ago, it’s the reason I want to learn it now. It’s the reason I flew halfway around the world. However to a foreigner wanting to learn the colloquial Arabic, the resources are limited. 99% of the people you meet learning Arabic are learning fusHa or Modern Standard Arabic, the formal Arabic This means that they are learning the international formal Arabic language. The Arab world, as most of you know, is far from being homogeneous in culture, politics, and yes even in language. The Arabic that the common people in Morocco speak for example is very different than the language spoken in Egypt, Syria, or Saudi Arabia. It’s probably similar to something like Portuguese and Spanish. There are many very different dialects in the Arab world. With advancements in communication and media however, some dialects are becoming more familiar than others. Egyptian and Syrian dialects are perhaps the most widely know dialects as a result of entertainment. However to solve this problem of so many different dialects, Modern Standard Arabic became the official common language. It’s the very formal language spoken on the news or in academia, and derives from Quranic Arabic. Here in Syria everyone is educated in fusHa, but usually only speak it to foreigners that are trying to learn Arabic. When they do it is unnatural. This is the Arabic that American students learn. It’s very difficult for an American to communicate with someone on the street with fusHa and when doing so, essentially both speakers are speaking a second language. Upon understanding this concept of formal and colloquial Arabic better, I decided to learn the colloquial language. It wasn’t a difficult decision. I came all the way to Syria to communicate with the people, so why not learn the language that they speak?
As I mentioned before, other than the Syrian people, there are not many developed resources to learn the colloquial Arabic. I had to search through the city to find some books. One book I found is an illegal photocopy of a book, the other is a book that a store owner made and printed on a homemade press.
My new house is beautiful, my roommate is a stud, and the food here is scheduled to fatten me up. I am living my dream life. I am a blessed man.
The only downside is being away from the ones I love. I miss you guys and pray for you every day. I hope all is well.